Siblings

Rob here at Memory Pebbles expresses concern on the effects of all the attention Fergus (older brother) gets on Norah (younger sister).

"Our 3-year-old daughter is growing up in a world that is weighted, in some ways, toward her brother, toward her brother's illness and all the secondary bullshit that goes with it."

Quite a lot of children's "literature" exists to explain to siblings their sister or brother's leukemia (or whatever). I guess it aims itself at different age groups etc.

I haven't really got into it and don't have an opinion on how well different publications have been done. Jaime's English is not yet good enough to read such things (but probaby soon will be) and I am not aware of anything in his first language.

Do please send reviews or recommendations.

However, I think in our case the "attention" thing is not a problem. Jaime is having such a good time at school, with all the stimulation (computers, musical instruments, books, language, Massage in Education (?!) etc etc) that doesn't exist in his home country's education system that he doesn't feel resent towards Kezia.

Additionally, as most of Kezia's treatment is when he is at school, he doesn't see too much of it and it doesn't disrupt his life so much. He's visited the hospital on a couple of occasions so understands that is where they go, they are going to be ok and he will be looked after. Ok - so the other weekend Nanda and Kezia were hospitalised and he stayed with M. - but there he got new experiences to keep him occupied.

And anyway the Royal Manchester Children's Hospital is fun and I bet he has fun when he goes there!

We're lucky.

Maybe it's a bit different when it's the older sibling who is ill. Surely, there have been some psychogical studies about all of this.

However, Lauren and Rob, the fact that you are aware of this, means I am sure that Norah is fine and will be all the better person in herself for having lived alongside Fergus' illness.